Friendship dating and marriage
First Thessalonians 4:1-8 admonishes us not to wrong or "defraud" our brother or sister by implying a marital level of commitment (through sexual involvement) when it does not exist.As I've discussed before, a broad (but sound) implication of this passage is that "defrauding" could include inappropriate emotional — as well as physical — intimacy.But if you are not deeply, passionately in love the marriage is much harder to stick with and sustain Based on the research and the couples I've seen, there are three kinds of marital relationships.There are those with passion - Liz Taylor and Richard Burton.Romans 13:8-14 calls us to love others, to work for their souls' good rather than looking to please ourselves.More specifically, verse 10 reminds us that "[l]ove does no harm to its neighbor." Romans 14:1-15:7 offers a discourse on favoring weaker brothers and sisters above ourselves, valuing and encouraging that which is good in the souls of others.These people enjoy each other's company, have fun, and maintain a warm-hearted, endearing relationship to each other. The Clinton's and Kennedy's had marriages that looked mostly like the latter.Neither partner would have gotten where they were had it not been for the other.
We are each others best friend and that's what we desire. But I'm also glad we had the kids we did so not sure I'd go back and change anything.
Basically, the question seems to be how exactly single Christians should relate to members of the opposite sex in that large and awkward zone between "we've never met" and a deliberate dating or courting relationship. I won't repeat the full history lesson here, as several Boundless authors have already discussed it (Joshua Rogers most recently, in his excellent piece "Your Friendgirl Deserves Better").
Essentially, the historical reality is that until 30 or 40 years ago, long, intimate friendships between men and women in which each served as the other's emotional confidante, relationship adviser and "best buddy" were far less common than they are today.
Friendship marriage is where you don't feel attracted to a person in a romantic way, but you do like the person and like to spend time with that person. In my opinion, marriage is simply too difficult to embark upon it with anyone other than someone you are deeply in love with.
Of course, having a friendship with your spouse is very important too.
But the bottom line is: love is the way you feel about someone. Love towards food, a hobby, an object, a friend, a child, a parent, a spouse. So, I would like to know whether you got married based on being best friends/friendship/companionship or whether you were "in love". I got married to my best friend because after observing relationships in life and on tv, I decided that marriages based on friendship are peaceful and more stable and last longer. But my problem was: I did not have hobbies to speak of and the only thing in common with my spouse was talking. I am happy for him because he is a great person and deserves to be happy. I think a good marriage would be close to a true friend with benefits.